06.2013 - Effective Feedback Why Is Giving and Receiving Feedback such a Communication Challenge?
Resistance to Feedback
Most humans have a natural reflex that blocks receptivity to new ideas, approaches or suggestions.
You can call them mindset enemies -- cognitive and emotional blocks that close us off to important life lessons. At their core they are the enemies of learning.
Here are a few common ones:
1. We don't believe the other person can teach us anything.
2. We think we are so successful that there is nothing left to learn.
3. We believe that if we acknowledge we can learn something new, we give away our position of authority.
4. We can't acknowledge that we have made a mistake.
5. We are overwhelmed and can't take in new information.
6. We don't believe the other person has out best interest at heart.
7. The last time we took feedback from that person, it didn't turn out well!
Any of these feel familiar?!
Tips for Delivering Feedback
Here are some ways to package feedback that make it a lot easier for the other person to hear it!
1. Ask for permission.
2. Position the feedback in terms of its purpose, scope and broader context..
3. Focus on solutions.
4. Get them to do the thinking.
5. Be sure your own mindset is one of service to the other person or group.
6. Leave them feeling better about their capacity for action and change.
Ask questions that get them thinking:
How clear are you about what comes next?
What are some new approaches that you can think of?
What's worked best in the past?